St. Anger

I really admire the song "St. Anger" by metallica, more so - by James. I've always liked it, ever sense i heard it... whenever that was, but only recently have i looked into it's meaning. Of course, i know the story with James and alchohol.. I know the problems, and i've watched the tv documentary/movie several times... But once i looked into the meaning of the lyrics of that song... I noticed how... 'personal' the song is to him. How, it's not a song, but rather him expressing his feelings/emotions/...his life...

The lyrics that get me the most, are: "I'm madly in anger with you" when i first heard the song, i just took it as a parody of the popular term "I'm madly in love with you" but upon reflecting about his problem with alcoholism, etc... I've noticed, it's more than just words. He hates his alcoholism, but at the same time, loved alchohol, or to an extent of that - I wont dive into his personal life, because i know nothing about him. I relate to that lyric so well... I have problems, that I HATE... I wish nothing more than to just STOP... but i love them, it's a 'release' if you will, metaphorically. It's a habit... an addiction. I love it, but hate it.
Therefore, with my problems... I'm madly in anger with them.

To conclude, "Fuck it all and no regrets, I hit the lights on these dark sets. I need a voice to let myself To let myself go free."
What I am, and what I've done - is who I am and what makes me, all i can do is move on, i can't change who i was, or the things I've done, but i can shut the lights off and let myself go free. No longer get held up by my problems, emotional...physical...mental...

on an unrelated note... I have a lot of anger in me, and i have to deal with taming my st. anger.